he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
