The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Your shirt... Was in my pants
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize