I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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