Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
And then he peed in my hair
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