She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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