I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm getting married
To pizza
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
