Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
