Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
