Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
