"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My vagina just recognized that song.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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