How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
