Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
