I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
