Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Randomize
