so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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