I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
