Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
