I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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