my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
