...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
