It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
