I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Screwed.edu
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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