pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
