I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
