good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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