is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
