just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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