Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
