what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
