the condom got lost in my hair
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
