his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
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