Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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