Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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