I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
