We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize