I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
