Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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