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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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