blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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