i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
