As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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