Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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