I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
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