Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You may now shotgun with the bride
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
