I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I DEMAND FORESKIN
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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