Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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