i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
