ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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