I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I love you.
Bad choice
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
