I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
