We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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