Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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