nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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