the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you traded sex for a burrito?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
