I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
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