You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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