some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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