Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
