she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
