Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
