If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
