All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
