Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
