is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I supernannyed him into submission
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
