haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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