Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
