Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
